The Red Coloured Blues
Note:- Here you can read same post in Hindi with some more details. In comment section I’ve pasted some comments that I received on the same article which was published on Mutiny. My only regret; not many females coming forward to share their views.
– — – –
When I wrote this short post based on a real life incident about customs involving Indian women, many of my readers felt offended. Both males and females. There was almost a furore. For the sake of our customs and culture, arguments ensued and positions defended. Comments which are still pouring in, overshadowed the tiny post.
While some ‘wise’ ones refrained from commenting, a chunk of them sent me many offline responses, telling (read directing) me what to write and what not. My simple answer to them “$%!&*%#$ !”.
I am glad that my so called ‘bold’ posts are able to generate serious discussions. But do you ever comprehend how humiliated we women feel at such instances ? When directly or indirectly we are constantly reminded of our gender?
I will narrate an incident here which is not so uncommon and still happens in this 21st century in many Hindu households across India. It happens in other religions as well but it is fairly common among Hindus.
It was during my college days. One of my friends had a wedding in her family and had left for Chennai to be a part of it. I was to attend a seminar in the same city two days after the wedding date. And so I was invited to stay at her place and also to attend the wedding.
It was a very chaotic schedule before I had left for Chennai. I was also requested to do shopping of some tit-bits that they wanted from my place. Once there, I was treated at par with my friend and other family members. It was a big two floor house with coconut, mango, banana trees in kitchen garden, a well and a big lawn in the front. The house was also full of guests. We had gala of time.. .. viewing wedding shoppings, discussing and enjoying various aspects of an arranged marriage. I felt at home, it was a good decision to stay with them.
Then late evening the lightening struck. Suddenly I realized my periods had started. I had no arrangements with me. It had come a week before time. Sometimes it happens; they come without prior notice. I asked my friend if she had any sanitary napkin handy. Fortunately she had. She gave me. But she also did one more important thing.
She informed her mother and immediately I was in for a rude shock.
Within two minutes the whole family and the guests were warned about it as if I had committed a horrific crime or acquired a contagious disease. I was instructed not to touch anything or anyone and was ushered to a steel chair in a remote corner of a small room to sit. The room was very small (not more than 6X6), without a window and without any furniture. One extremely small toilet was attached to it.
Water was given in a plastic bottle which was to be thrown later. There was a separate plate especially kept for these times. I was supposed to eat in that and wash it for next use. I could not go, eat or mingle with others. Whoever brought me food, literally ‘threw’ it at my plate from a distance of at least one foot, lest some untouchability current would pass through it to them.
Have you seen a dog given food in his plate? It was worse than that. Even pets get a pat while having food.
I was also made to remove every single piece of cloth including the bed sheets from the bed where I was sitting till then. They had all become impure. Also all who had touched me at that time, took bath to purify (!) themselves.
The wedding happened, and as expected I was not allowed to enjoy it. The hawk-eyed ladies obliged me by giving an option to go there and sit in a secluded corner without touching anyone.
I preferred to be home.
While I could read books, touch any plastic things (my guess is that since they were invented after these rules were laid centuries ago, there is no proper guidelines on touchability for these items), I was made to sleep on a mat on the floor. Kitchen and places of worship were strictly forbidden, even from facing them !! I could not touch metal and clothes as they are good conductors of this untouchability.
After three days I was supposed to shampoo my hair, scrub myself thoroughly. There is no escape from this even if you have a fever of 102 degrees. I also had to wash all my accumulated clothes and those bed sheets which had become impure by my touch.
Coming from a family where there was no discrimination between a boy or a girl, where in spite of being Brahmins; Muslims and Christians were equally welcome and fed in the same plates, where for a girl having menstruation was a normal healthy way of life, it was the rudest shock for me.
I was scared, shocked and angry to see this side of life. My eyes were teary. Why was it happening to me ? Was my body going through the natural cycles to cause harm to my society ? We Indians teach our daughters to be adjustive in a new family, in a new home, to respect the rules of the host family, to do what our elders tell us but this was something unexpected.
I wondered when Mahatma Gandhi fought for apartheid, why didn’t he raise his voice against this. Sati Pratha, child marriages, devdasi.. .. all which I thought were extinct had become harsh realities of this 21st century.
It was the same house that had celebrated my friend’s onset of menstruation, her entry into womanhood. Ladies from neighbourhood were invited, a function was held and she was congratulated and gifted many expensive items. When it was a matter of celebration how could anyone be punished every single month of her life for as simple as a physical phenomenon of a human body? I simply fail to comprehend.
Later the same year I came to know of a Gujarati family who forced her newly-wedded daughter-in-law to live in a very small dingy room across their courtyard near cattle during her periods.
Even though experienced by as much as almost half a billion people in India, menstruation is a topic that is rarely talked about. It remains within the confines of one’s home and only between members of the gender experiencing it. Girls are sufferers but not allowed to voice their opinions. Most of the males in our society either do not know much about it or think (made to think) it is a women’s thing and they should not interfere or give their opinions.
The result is that we follow something that was designed centuries ago, probably for the welfare of women but just not feasible in today’s world. In earlier days it would have meant to give ‘rest’ to women during period days or probably she was forced to take ‘rest’ from all exhausting household chores.
But the question is why we, both men & women, can not question the century old practices which has changed its face ? Why we think that whatever our elders are doing is ALWAYS correct ? Why can’t males oppose the manner in which their wives or sisters are being treated ? Rest ? I defy.
Every single month we women experience weakness, stomach upset, cramps and other symptoms because of blood loss and of course, sometimes we grumble about having to go through the inconvenience of it all. And we definitely would like to have some rest.. .. both physical and mental.
But at the end of the day, it is my body, my pains, my feelings and the decision of how I need my rest, should be with me and not with any other. I would appreciate if my man helped around the house every day however small it is, instead of making me feel inferior by giving me ‘rest’ in the customary way.
And I refuse to be ashamed of the way nature made me especially when I have been endowed with the ability to procreate because of it. Whether I choose to have babies is an entirely different issue but I cannot comprehend the public shame factor attached to a natural bodily process.
I am proud of being a woman.
P.S.- For a change, I am not writing this by getting into any other character. I have narrated here a first hand experience.
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Monika said,
February 19, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
ohhh gosh dont tell me it really happened…tell me u made it up
BTW u have so much patience u still stayed there… I would have just walked out of the place.. full stop. i refuse to be a part of any such thing
no of arguments have happened at my place because of this.
just before my son’s naming pooja they paid a visit… (ya i now they usually dont come for 6 months but u can say unlucky me) and I casually mentioned this when my mom and mil were sitting, basically i whined…and thak my mil said u cant do the pooja tmrw… let only N do it… i was stunned and refused that any such thing is not happening…she called sil and she came running talking to me
But i was like no, I am pure this is natural I will do the pooja…they were sulking all thru but later understood i guess….
Alok said,
February 19, 2009 @ 11:29 pm
I am not surprised to see such a post from you Cuckoo-ji, certainly you make lot if sense to me. Maybe because I am from a background who never believe or practice something just because everyone else is doing that …
Cuckoo, somehow I am convinced that people - if not all but most of us here are good followers and hardly bother to think and bring a change demanded by time. So it’s fairly simple to say we are ignorant about whom we are following :P.
I know, everyone here has an opinion or things to justify something good or bad or ugly but then why it’s so difficult to understand all of them are created by a you or a me, and there is no-way someone can change the way nature has made us. Frankly, I neither believe nor encourage to follow such customary practices. The whole point is, if I can open the doors of change then at least I can change two persons, the 1st person would be myself and the second person would be the person whom I encourage not to follow any such customs for the sake of none but for her own body and life.
P.S: I will tag this post as your one of the best post so far.
Alok said,
February 19, 2009 @ 11:42 pm
**lot of sense. That’s my typo
Winnie the poohi said,
February 20, 2009 @ 12:38 am
Oh I know what you mean.. and how it feels. Frankly in older days it was relevant. It was the only way a female could rest simply. The rules were made so that she could rest without being interfered by anyone and have some private space in a life where that is not alloted to her..
Having said that.. It is humiliating.. My aunt is uber orthodox. Its the same at her place too. Whenever we go there we carry those tablets to postpone it! I can never sit in the varandah where anyone who enters wud know.. that you are having your periods.. Even the stranger!
My mom was the same.. in a way.. when my sister got her periods she wanted her to sit on the side and all.. but we resisted. and she had to give up the ridiculous idea! And it was ridiculous and is ridiculous!
Tarun said,
February 20, 2009 @ 12:56 pm
Yeah heard the same from “her” who happens to be a Tamil.
It is insane.
Unacceptable.
Shekhar said,
February 20, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
That’s disgusting… Absolute rot… I am happy that I come from a family where my sisters are not treated with such dis-respect… And I am proud of you girl… Kudos to you!!! It takes courage to rake up a fire and make the world realize that something somewhere is not right…
Jeevan said,
February 20, 2009 @ 3:19 pm
I doubt if such a thing happens in a christian family. At least I have not heard of it before. But sad to hear that women are treated that way by women.
~vagabond~ said,
February 20, 2009 @ 11:32 pm
Cuckooo, this is such a heartfelt post…truly one of your best writings, because it has so much of you contained within it.
I already said everything I wanted to regarding this topic on your original Suno Suno post.
It is so refreshing to see that there are men out there who are willing to speak up for what is wrong and who dont just blindly follow religious beliefs without ever questioning them.
@Jeevan: Orthodox christian religions too believe in the concept of women in their periods being unpure. It is a belief shared by many religions because religion in the olden days was a male dominated field, and this was one more way to keep women subordinate back in those days. In todays world, it is completely useless, antifeministic and frankly quite insulting, so I’ll be glad when the world gets rid of one more completely baseless and useless tradition that has been followed blindly over the years.
Sunandha J said,
February 21, 2009 @ 7:33 am
How dare you challenge our customs? in our society we follow it very religiously since hundreds of years and no one has ever objected or complained. even men are very helpful. they cook and take care of the house in those days.
who are you to challenge this practice if we want do it?
उन्मुक्त said,
February 21, 2009 @ 7:41 am
कुहू जी, क्या आप सच कह रही हैं? मुझे तो लगता है कि आप हम सब को … बना रही हैं। विश्वास ही नहीं हो रहा है कि अपने देश में यह भी होता है।
मैं एक संयुक्त परिवार में बड़ा हुआ हूं। घर में मां, चाची, बहने, भाभियां और पत्नी रहती थीं। मुझे तो कभी पता ही नहीं चला कि घर में किसी महिला को कब रजोधर्म हो रहा है - घर में हम सब के व्यवहार में कभी कोई अन्तर ही नहीं आया। हां मेरे कुछ मित्रों की पत्नियों को रजोधर्म के समय कमजोरी लगती है। वे उस समय कुछ आराम करती हैं पर मेरे घर की महिलाओं में, रजोधर्म के समय भी, व्यवहार में भी कोई अन्तर नहीं आया। शायद वे इतनी कमजोरी न महसूस करती हों।
BlogAdda’s Spicy Saturday Picks - Feb. 21, '09 | BlogAdda Blog said,
February 21, 2009 @ 1:40 pm
[...] : Cuckoo What : The Red colored blues Spicy : Cuckoo narrates an incident that is shockingly prevalent and still happens in this 21st [...]
Rajat said,
February 21, 2009 @ 1:51 pm
Great post. Much needed. Coming from a girl it touches the heart.
And I liked the title also. Very apt.
I had some doubts but didn’t know it will be so horrible. I am surprised in today’s world people still behave like this. They need serious education.
Once again, great post. I have no more words.
peter said,
February 21, 2009 @ 9:28 pm
If someone this time doesn’t agree with your statements, I will get very upset !! Wonderfully written and argumented ! Seen from “here” all this sounds just unbelievable (although I knew about it)!
All women should be proud of being a woman (you are the best!) … and you of being Cuckoo!!
Cuckoo said,
February 21, 2009 @ 11:11 pm
Monica,
Well, you are new here so asking this question.
No, I have not made it up. I am not that creative.
Rather could have said more on it, see the update on this post.
Well, at times it is easy to say than walking out of it especially when you are young, new to a family, city, surroundings and you are too shocked to react.
Cuckoo said,
February 21, 2009 @ 11:13 pm
Alok,
Yes, I agree with you. Most of us just follow it so that feelings of elders are not hurt. I think in this particular custom, both males and females are equally at fault for ignoring it.
Many thanks for your appreciation and liking my post.
Cuckoo said,
February 21, 2009 @ 11:23 pm
Some comments from other readers,
i like your post title
the topic itself is a bit of a clue as to how little the general populace have been ‘modernized’ - i have spent quite a few days fruitlessly arguing about why this temporary untouchability is ridiculous in this day and age(and indeed ever) among many others with my grandparents and uncles&aunts on both sides of the family.
i am not one to blindly advocate education, but i think that in this one case, it might be very helpful.
————–
I agree with sentiments of your article.
But, I am baffled why you followed what your friend’s mom suggested. I am not saying that you create a scene at your friend’s wedding, but you could have simply refused what they were asking you. I would have walked out if they still persisted.
As M.K. Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see”
————–
Who asked you to meekly acquiesce to their requests? You should have left your friends wedding immediately. Did you really have to make a religious distinction here? Most social customs like this are common to all religions in India. I am assuming that this another attempt by Mutiny to malign Hindus.
————–
Cuckoo - Very well written. I am going to repeate the same that we have to make people understand that certain customs are very misunderstood by people today and may be only valid for the olden days for certain reasons. Well i come from a house where these practices are very relaxed, not just my house but most of the relatives do not practices it in strict manner as you have experienced in the friends place. Well how far you could change the rules of their house is questionable but i really wish that you had options to move out of the house.
————–
Cuckoo,
Great post. Mainly for the fact that even women shy away from writing about their periods. I believe this kind of untouchability is as bad as societal/racial untouchabilty. Rather its more worse than that.
But the problem lies with women as well, they are willing to become a untouchable during “those days”. There is a practise among hindus that women cant enter temples during their period’s, and am agaisnt it. If women do become impure during those days then god “WOULD NOT HAVE” added that cycle into a womens body. I really do believe that women should go to temples even on these days if they can.
————–
Great post Cuckoo. Much needed.
As a person of the “other gender”, I have always felt weird when my mom would not enter the pooja room on “certain days”, and would ask one of us to light the daily diya. [I think she has since abandoned this retro habit]
Regarding “Why can’t males oppose the manner in which their wives or sisters are being treated ?” - point taken. I, for one, will make sure I make my voice heard whenever I see discrimination based on whether or one’s body is re-setting to prepare for potentially hosting a new life.
Thanks once again for the post.
————–
Very good post as some people have already said…
I remember families of my relatives enforcing a similar isolation of Womenfolk, but thankfully for the last 1-2 years, I think they have abandoned it…
————–
A fabulous post.And loved the title as well.
Frankly I’ve never seen or been in a situation where taboos related to the periods are mentioned but then again maybe being a male guy am kept away from knowing it,like you mentioned its confined to only women.Which is absolutely wrong.
I also wanted to ask you why did you continue staying there and not leave,which you already answered.Another point which I don’t think anyone mentioned was your friend not standing up for you,which probably would have made things different for you and not made to feel like an untouchable.
I already follow the path of discussing such women issues,although its only with my gf and no one else.Hope that changes in the future and the Indian society can be more open.
Fabulous post once again.
————–
Dear Cuckoo
Wonderful Blog!!
I am happy that being a women you have come open to discuss this issue in Mutiny
Being a part of women oriented family (Five sisters, and me), I can understand each any every word you expresed.
As some one said earlier ” I will make sure I make my voice heard whenever I see discrimination based on whether or one’s body is re-setting to prepare for potentially hosting a new life”.
Uday
————–
Great post!
The only way we could do anything about it ,is not to let it happen in our homes and to voice our dissatisfaction wherever we see it happening around us.
nilima.
————–
Dear Cuckoo,
Nice post, with deep concerns towards the humiliation faced by many of our women even now in this century. I can think of your situation where you were caught between your conscience and your friends family. I think its very easy for others from outside to point finger and ask..Why didn’t you protest..? Why didn’t you walk out..?..etc. I’ve exactly raised the same question in my family many years ago. Once there was a grand celebration when my sister entered womanhood and soon after a month same little girl was totally cornered for none of her fault. That was ridiculous….and indeed I had big fights with my parents on this issue. As you rightly said….we men should be at least sensitive to such issues in the household. I sincerely believe proper sex education and awareness among the children is way to solve these issues in the future generations at least.
Excellent post…..All the Best.
- Anbusivam
————–
Cuckoo..
Being a guy, I still hated this useless custom of net letting women touch or enter prayer halls while they are having periods.
My reading and analysis tells me that In ancient time , when this “tradition” took a root in society there were not enough sanitation options available as It is available now. So may be in that time it was the only way .
But come on , it is absurd in today’s time.
But question is, how many women themselves are ready to fight against it ?
Will you stand up for your daughters when they are going through the same ?
Will you claim their equal rights as sons when they go through same situations ?
If answer is “YES”, well , then in that case transformation of society is possible. and if answer is “NO”, what’ the point of raising the point if you are not going to fight for it. ?
Cuckoo said,
February 21, 2009 @ 11:58 pm
Winnie the Poohi,
Welcome to my blog.
Whenever we go there we carry those tablets to postpone it!.. But why should you play with something which is being taken care of naturally ? Do you know these tablets harm you in long run ? Hormonal imbalance and irregular periods among other complications ? I will never take them whether I am allowed to participate somewhere or not.
Oh, I can write so much on the subject. Should I ?
I can never sit in the varandah where anyone who enters wud know.. that you are having your periods.. Even the stranger!… Exactly !! It is so humiliating. Feel like we are hanging a sign-board declaring it.
Thanks for your visit, keep coming. BTW, your blog page takes ages to download.
Abhi said,
February 22, 2009 @ 2:30 am
Unfortunately, even in the jet age ,we still blindly follows some of the old customs. However I feel a lot of things are changing gradually. Look at the comments and response you are getting. A majority of readers feel that things should change. That itself is a welcome sign. Some might argue that this is only from the urban areas, but then it will surely pass on to rural India as well. I believe, if technology can go there, then mentality can go as well.
Just that changes wont happen overnight, but I must say your post has only helped all of us take one step ahead towards a change.
Winnie the poohi said,
February 22, 2009 @ 12:16 pm
Ah I dunno why it takes ages
Happened to me on other blogs too.. google is overloaded.. thats the only thing.. I dont even have a lot of images or widgets.. I shed that long time back..
@about the tablets..
We hardly ever go.. but when we do… its easier to comply to their rules than be humiliated.. I mean they wud make us stay away.. so its better to not get into that situation.. prevention and all.. and well at our home… we do what we like
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 4:20 pm
Tarun,
It is very common in south India. And eyebrows are raised if a family is not doing it.
‘Her’ ?? Waah ! Didn’t know about that.
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
Shekhar,
Thank God, it is not common in north India and people are surprised to know about this practice but go to south, it is the other way round.
Many thanks for your encouraging comment. Yes, it needs a lot of courage to revolt like this.
kunjal said,
February 22, 2009 @ 4:26 pm
Hi Cuckoo !!! You have nicely dealt with a taboo topic!
The irony is that even women behaves with the fellow “period women” as untouchables. My MIL initially asked me not to come in kitchen in those days.As this was not followed in my mother’s house so I was not habitual of all this. More-over I feel very embarassing to tell infront of the servants that I cannot go in the kitchen so I didn’t follow it.
Once I touched the kitchen stuff during my period days and MIL started saying that she gets skin boils if someone do so.She even showed my some puffiness coming in her skin. I was really furious on her hipocrisy. After all she herself is a women so she must be getting her own too. Anyways I told her that this is all in HER BRAIN and last time I even cooked and served food to her while my periods were on.This time she knew about it so all this drama going on in her brain.Since then I never tell her about my periods and work as usual all 30 days
Surprisingly she never had those spliners again and didnt even had the guts to ask me to follow that. I learned the lesson that you need to be adamant at certain times too.
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 4:45 pm
Jeevan,
Well, I am not sure about Christian families but yes, in earlier days in Europe they were not allowed to enter certain places for fear of turning things bad or sour.
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 4:54 pm
Vagabond,
Thank you for liking the post.
Yes, I am aware of your views on this ‘forbidden’ topic.
I too am happy to know that today’s men are willing to object to these practices. I feel in India, most of the men are not aware of the whole practice (or are they scared of the women around them ?).
And I am going to rip these practices apart.
Lolll…
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 5:04 pm
Unmukt ji,
हम और आप खुशकिस्मत हैं कि हम उत्तर भारत के रहनेवाले हैं | यह प्रथा दक्षिण भारतीय ब्राह्मिन घरों में बहुत ही ज़्यादा प्रचलित है | वहां तो यह हाल है कि जिस घर में इसका पालन नहीं होता, लोग उंगली उठाते हैं | कमजोरी तो होती ही है, पर उस कमजोरी का बहाना बनाकर ऐसा करने से तो अच्छा है, कमजोरी छुपाना |
Well, do you think I can fool around on such a serious topic ? (Pls see my update in the beginning of this post).
You can see so many people have confirmed it. It was a first hand experience that I went thru. And horrible indeed. I could have written more on it but it was too embarrassing to even write.
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 9:39 pm
Rajat,
Welcome here on my blog.
Thanks for liking the post and the title.
Well, it is very common in south India and I think in Gujrat. And eyebrows are raised if a family is not following these customs. And I am talking about illiterate village people, it happens in well educated families.
Thanks for your visit, keep coming.
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 10:34 pm
Peter,
You knew about it ??? It is so amazing to know that some men in my country are unaware and there you are… from a different religion in a far off different country knowing about it !
Thank you Peter for your so encouraging words. You too are a gem !
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 10:41 pm
Abhi,
I agree with you.
Well, I think the comments I am getting here are from the people (except for a very few) who already belong to the ‘changed’ category. It’ll be really nice to see more people become aware of this outdated practice.
And I have not talked about villagers, it happened in well educated family living in one of the metros.
In south India where the practice is so deep-rooted that fingers are pointed if someone not following it.
Thank you for your encouragement, it peps me up and helps me to write and spread the right thing across.
Cuckoo said,
February 22, 2009 @ 10:48 pm
Winnie T P,
Now that’s called an honest reasoning. I think I’ll write about it.
Kunjal,
Wow !! You brave lady. Congrats !! You could change your MIL.
And that was a good experience you shared with us.
Thanks again.
Ajeya Rao said,
February 24, 2009 @ 9:50 am
Have already commented to this post on other site.
Anyways - Whats this whole deal of hate mails to you? Are people crazy or what?
Abhi said,
February 24, 2009 @ 9:52 am
Ajeya,
These are the self proclaimed custodians of the Indian Culture
ashes said,
February 24, 2009 @ 11:42 am
Holy fuck! Indian culture at its f***ing best! This is completely unbelievable; I have never heard of such levels of torture to menstruating females. The most I had heard was they are not allowed to enter the pooja-kaksh, and I had heard of some temple in Kerala that disallowed entry of all females aged between 15 and 60 (onset of puberty to menopause). But since I do not worship God in the idol form, that did not matter to me.
But confining someone to a jail in their own house! Being treated like a patient with a deadly viral infection! And that too every month! Over and over again! Horrendous! You are right Cuckoo in that these are one of the कुरीतियाँ in India that have not been paid attention. No voice is raised against them, and the strong females boldly face this mental anguish in addition to the physical pain that they go through during that period.
Abhi said,
February 24, 2009 @ 3:12 pm
@Sunandha J,
Lady, just because something is being followed for centuries without objections, doesnt mean it is always correct. And any individual has a right to oppose the following if he/she is being humiliated because of it. We understand the richness of our Indian culture. However we are also sane enough to understand that no culture or religion preaches to treat women as untouchables and or like cattle/prisoners…and that too for something that is natural.
It seems you haven’t really read the entire article properly and simply jumped on to the culture saving band-wagon. If you would read and hopefully understand what she has written, you would not have questioned her. What is even more surprising is that you being a woman(I am sorry for assuming this), do not understand the humiliation that she must have gone through.
It makes me really happy to know that the men in your family are very understanding and helpful during ‘those’ days… But only during those days?? Can we men not be the same every single day and do our bit to help our better halves??
To end this, let me tell you.. noone may have challenged or opposed this earlier, but remember one thing, ‘Theres always a first time’.
P.S: I would love to know from you if you believe in following the ‘age-old’ & ‘customary’ Sati Practice. If you do, God Bless You..
If you don’t, be grateful to Mr. Raja Ram Mohan Ray for opposing a practice which was being followed unopposed for centuries..
Ankur Gupta said,
February 24, 2009 @ 4:23 pm
“But the question is why we, both men & women, can not question the century old practices which has changed its face ? Why we think that whatever our elders are doing is ALWAYS correct ? Why can’t males oppose the manner in which their wives or sisters are being treated ? ”
Most of the males in our society either do not know much about it or think (made to think) it is a women’s thing and they should not interfere or give their opinions.
आपने सही कहा. मुझे भी कुछ खास पता नही है. बायोलाजी में पढ़ा था. पर समझ में नही आया. मेरे आसपास ऐसी कोई छुआ छूत वाली घटना भी नही हुई. अगर हुई भी तो मुझे कभी जानकारी नही दी गई. हां अब अगर कोई भी ऐसी घटना सामने आती है तो मैं जरूर विरोध करूंगा.
Ankur Gupta said,
February 24, 2009 @ 4:32 pm
बहुत से भारतीय अंग्रेजी उतनी अच्छे तरीके से समझ नही पाते हैं जितना कि हिंदी.अगर आप हिंदी में लिखेंगी (कम से कम इस तरह की पोस्टें)
तो बहुत बहुत अच्छा रहेगा. क्योंकि इससे इस तरह के अच्छे विचार ज्यादा लोगों तक पहुंच पायेंगे.
मैं आपकी इस पोस्ट का लिंक अपने चाचा को भेजना चाह रहा था पर भेज नही पा रहा क्योंकि उन्हे अंग्रेजी में दिक्कत है.
mathew said,
February 25, 2009 @ 9:47 pm
i guess this incident must have been sheer emotional torture for you…….I sincerely wish woman start opposing this ancient practices and men do it as well..such practices along with dowry could be stopped if there is a mass movement of awareness and change in our society!
Cuckoo said,
February 26, 2009 @ 11:56 pm
Ashes,
Well, now you know it.
And as I have said to other commenters, it is fairly common in south India. And my experience was more than what I have written here.
As you would have noticed from some female commenters here, these so called educated people do not think it as something offending or degrading and they force others to follow it.
Cuckoo said,
February 27, 2009 @ 12:42 am
Sunandha,
I am sorry, your comment appeared a bit late here. It was waiting for moderation.
And I don’t think I can even think of agreeing to views. Abhi has rightly replied to you comment.
Abhi,
Thanks for replying to Sunandha. Much appreciated.
Cuckoo said,
February 27, 2009 @ 1:01 am
Ankur,
Well, these things are fairly common in Gujarat and south India.
And I am proud of you, little brother. I know you are going to oppose such practices. Let’s build together a better India.
Thank you for your encouragement. I agree with you, I need to write in Hindi as well. It’s high time I gave something to my Hindi readers. Will do this post within this week.
Itna intezaar kiya hai to thoda aur kariye.
Cuckoo said,
February 27, 2009 @ 1:05 am
Mathew,
Welcome again.
Well it was indeed a torture for me and an incident to remember.
I have started doing my part; let’s see what changes we all can bring in society for a better India.
Vands said,
March 25, 2009 @ 12:14 am
i dunno how u stayed there… i mean i agree it was ur frnd’s weddin and u prolly didnt wanna offend her but u hardly participated in the ceremony!!
i haven’t had to face any such discrimination during my periods “thankfully”, only embarrassment sometimes when it comes early or at unexpected times and im not ready. Sometimes have had to ask my guy frnds to drive me to the chemist but thats about as far as it goes.
the only thing i remember is that we’re not supposed to go to temples during those 5 days… that hasnt affected me as such coz i don’t really go to temples .. i pray when i want to and from wherever iam.
A. P. Rao said,
September 15, 2009 @ 2:55 pm
I personally feel that we have to respect the feelings of our elders. I had an experience when one of the family member has expressed that she cannot do pooja during periods or enter temple even though she doesn’t believe in remaining as untouchable during periods nor she follows these rules in her house. Many of those who are not practising it in their houses are also not prepared to do pooja or go temples etc., during periods as they feel ii in their hears that they are not pure during the peroids.
A. P. Rao