Obligation
At times I am very finicky. I behave very differently.
If someone says “I’ll do it for you”, I get agitated.
Why ? Why does anybody wants to do anything for me ? Even if s/he wants to do something why is s/he telling me ?? If it is their love & care for me then I don’t think the words “I’ll do it for you” are needed. Isn’t s/he trying to show some kind of obligation ?
Does that mean I have to say a formal “Thank you” after the work is done ?
I might eventually need some help but in no way I want to feel obliged unless I ask for it.
These words create distances.
I would be extremely happy if the person does it without any words or condition. That’d make me feel that s/he understands my needs or requirements and also my handicaps. Basically s/he cares for me.
Even if my mother makes my favourite dish without me asking /demanding for it I somewhere feel indebted to her and want to return favour.. probably by doing something which makes her happy or by achieving something which she could not or any sundry thing which she wasn’t expecting.
But yeah, if I ask for something, you do it and I say ‘Thank you’. I’ll still be grateful but there won’t be any guilt feeling. And I am one of a person who will always return favours in one way or the other.
Why am I like this ?
I think I am one complicated character.
Current Song:- Zindagi Mere Ghar Aana Zindagi - Bhupinder
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Tags : Human Behaviour, Personal, Thoughts
Tarun said,
April 15, 2009 @ 8:03 pm
Well u put it quiet simply … *I think I am one complicated character.*
Chill.
sumit said,
April 15, 2009 @ 8:50 pm
chillax!! stop fretting… its awrite!!
Jeevan said,
April 15, 2009 @ 10:21 pm
Come on! I do not agree with you. If someone says ‘I’ll do it for u’, you should be glad that someone cares for you. Again it depends on who says those words.
Cuckoo said,
April 16, 2009 @ 3:30 am
All,
Oh I am chilled !!
Winnie the poohi said,
April 16, 2009 @ 4:14 am
Ah I agree to you completely! Its been my complaint since a long time.. Infact I have fought with some ppl coz of that.. and in the end I feel guilty even more since they “did” help me and I argue with them instead of feeling “gratitude” .. what I feel is “burdened” **sigh**
sumit said,
April 16, 2009 @ 5:40 am
now since you are chilled, why don’t u tune in to bryan adams crooning, “everything i do, i do it for you!!” [:P]
Fatema / Shivanand said,
April 16, 2009 @ 7:37 am
When relations are unconditional, they are beautiful. When you fell for someone ,you simply do it.
Ajeya Rao said,
April 16, 2009 @ 9:37 am
I understand because I think alike, but I now feel that i should stop breaking words into so many meanings.
Ram N said,
April 16, 2009 @ 12:16 pm
I think, there’s no complication to the behaviour …. it seems straightforward and simple and many are like that.
kunjal said,
April 16, 2009 @ 12:25 pm
i belive sometimes we are irritated and we take everything on a bad note:)
hope you are in a good mood now:)
Deepu said,
April 16, 2009 @ 4:06 pm
Cuckoo,
Now I can’t wait to find something that I will do for you. Of course I will tell you before I do it.
Cuckoo said,
April 17, 2009 @ 3:32 pm
Kunjal,
Yes, we are finicky at times. Yeah, I am quite chirpy now !!
Deepu,
You are too much !!
OK, I thank you in advance.
~vagabond~ said,
April 21, 2009 @ 1:39 am
LOL. You sure are one interesting character.
You neednt feel obligated…think about it this way, you never ASKED them to do the favor for you, did you? If you didnt ask them to do it, and they went ahead and decided to do it anyway and let you know that they did it, then why should you feel obligated?
Though I do agree with you, the nicest, most genuine favors are those done without asking or telling someone what you’re doing for them.